Thursday, 14 July 2011

Dating advice courtesy of Marky and Kirk! shit's free yo.

So I suppose being the only girl here at Rain City means that I am subjected to ( or offered, apparently) some FANTASTIC dating advice. I've decided to share a few gems with you lucky readers , free of charge (unless you wanna pay. you can totally pay me if you want. no more dating advice though, I got that shit on lock).
     First off, since I'm so into the boys in the 20 - 22 year age bracket, I've learned that despite their adorable charm and good intentions ( and great bodies), that boys that age are good to look at, but not so good to hold a conversation with. They are purely pretty machines to look at, and touch, but not to actually, you know, put into any sort of intellectual use that one 24 year old female may want anytime soon. Though if you are 20 to 22 feel free to prove this wrong ;).
    Secondly, if going on more than 2 dates, and you haven't put out yet, you MUST have something wrong with your..... downstairs... region. possibly it's that time of the month, possibly it's the herp. who knows, who cares.... either way, you best be getting freaky or you're admitting that there's some horrible surprise waiting to spring out. Advice from the masters.
    If you happen to be texting someone every day, and not even  sexting them, heaven forbid,  then you are probably dating. No, wait... you ARE dating, just without all the hot sweaty sex and without the  dick and ball photos that we all know you're craving, but can't ask for quite yet, lest it get out that you aren't the prude you have made yourself seem to be.
    Then there are the rules on getting kinky... but that's best left to shop talk. I'm sure you'd hear all about it if you came in and got tattooed. In fact, I guarantee that you'd hear about it. We may as well rename our shop to: Rain City Tattoos and Sex Advice! Come in while its hawt!
   In any case, dating can be quite an adventure for anyone, I'm just glad I get my advice from 2 of the most knowledgeable guys around. It really helps. seriously. Though that boy hasn't called me back yet. I'm sure he's just busy though.


  1. Kirk and dating advice? It's been 10 years since he's gone on a date with anyone but me, and he didn't take me on an actual date until we'd been hooking up for weeks...

  2. hahaha that's the point. Great (insert sarcasm here) advice!!!!